Gone from this world.
It’s been an up and down week this week. I’ve been immersing myself in the boys during the school holidays and when I have come up for air to find out what’s been happening in the world, I found it hadn’t all been good.
Last week I heard that a school friend had sadly taken her own life. Depression is an ugly, awful illness and she had suffered with it most of her life. However on this occasion, the demon had been too strong for her and the world lost another beautiful, yet troubled spirit.
We hadn’t been close since school, yet kept in touch, like everyone else through social media. I knew she was down after some recent events in her life, but she also showed her brave face that liked to reassure everyone that everything was ok. Well it turned out that everything wasn’t ok, and that we couldn’t help her through the one time when she really needed it.
The loss of such a wonderful, caring, beautiful person makes me sad. The thought that she was so alone in the darkness, lost and afraid, and thought that was the only path ahead, makes me sadder still. That we couldn’t help her when she needed it most.
Maybe we were so wrapped up in our own lives we didn’t notice anything? Maybe she didn’t want us to notice? No-one should ever have to feel that desperate and alone. We hadn’t seen each other for such a long time, but the years and miles don’t diminish that feeling that we’ve lost one of our own.
There have been plenty of tears, as a group; the pain and shock of loss hit us hard. We are all spread around the world these days, but maybe one positive thing that has come out of it, is that we have all started checking in with each other a bit more. To remember the past and where we came from – those long days sat together in classrooms and to take time to mourn those whose journey’s have ended.
The pain her family are feeling is unimaginable, it will be with them forever. There needs to be more support for depression, more understanding and awareness, less of a stigma attached to mental health. To stop tragedy’s like this happening, to spare another family and group of friends going through this.
But above all: to be understood, things must be talked about not hidden, unmentioned in the shadows.
For T : You have always been, and always will be, one of us. You always cared, maybe a little too much. I will miss you, rest easy, I hope you finally found the peace and happiness you deserve. x